I HOPE SO . . .

CIA Had Plan to Assassinate Qaeda Leaders - NY Times



"Since 2001, the Central Intelligence Agency developed plans to dispatch small teams overseas to kill senior Qaeda terrorists, according to current and former government officials"

. . . for some incredible reason we're told the plan was never carried out!

The concept seems to have gotten mired down in organizational CYA overkill:

"Officials at the spy agency over the years ran into myriad logistical, legal and diplomatic obstacles. How could the role of the United States be masked? Should allies be informed and might they block the access of the C.I.A. teams to their targets? What if American officers or their foreign surrogates were caught in the midst of an operation? Would such activities violate international law or American restrictions on assassinations overseas?"

HEY! Earth to Langley, VA: SINCE WHEN DID WE START GIVING A RAT's *SS ABOUT BUNCH OF INTERNATIONAL LAWYERS ? ! ? ! ? ! We're at WAR here, RIGHT? US targeted killings of Al Qaeda terrorists is a legal act of self defense, point blank and simple - I mean, if it's OK to launch Hellfire missiles off Predator drones into multi-family dwellings in remote corners of Pakistan, what on Earth is wrong with taking out your targets with surgical precision?

OK - Problem identified; allow me to suggest a solution:

You throw enough money out there to hire a dedicated group of pissed-off ex-Green Berets like myself, and finance our operations. We know how to plan long-term operations, we speak foreign languages, we know how to live incognito overseas, and we have a certain motto when it comes to this sort of thing: "If it bleeds, you can kill it." We'll get the job done.

For planning guidance, check out GENERAL PATTON'S MAXIMS Here are a few to consider:

o A good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later.

o Take calculated risks.

o Do not fear failure.

o In case of doubt, attack.

o No one is thinking if everyone is thinking alike.

o The only thing to do when a son-of-a-bitch looks cross-eyed at you is to beat the hell out of him right then and there.

And there's this beauty, of course:

o No good decision was ever made in a swivel chair.

CAPTURED

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and an old Army Special Forces Team Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged through the streets.

Katie Couric said, "Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Charlie Gibson said, "I live in New York, so I'd like to hear the song 'The Moon and Me' one last time." The terrorists' leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want a tape recorder so I can describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. American War Criminal, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the ass," said the Green Beret.

"What?" asked the leader, "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm NOT kidding. I want YOU to kick ME in the ASS!!!" insisted the Green Beret.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the behind. The Green Beret went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled his 9 mm pistol from inside his waistband and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm into six terrorists, with his knife he slashed the throat of one with an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another eleven!

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Green Beret was untying Couric, Gibson and Williams, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the behind?"

"What!?!" replied the Green Beret, "and have you three report that I was the aggressor....?"